Elastigirl's Nasty Cold
by ZombieCatTookMyPudding
Summary: (Requested by anonymous.) Mr. Incredible had warned Elastigirl not to patrol with him while she's under the weather, but with the city in constant peril, it needs as much protection as it can get. Unfortunately, there are consequences to going out on a chilly night with a nasty cold...(one-shot, crackfic.)


**A/N**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own _The Incredibles_. All rights go to their respective owners. Also, this was a request by an anonymous user, so credit goes to them for the main idea.**

* * *

Keeping a vigilant watch over the city was Elastigirl, standing atop a skyscraper, her eyes scanning the city as she looked for any signs of trouble. "Achoo!" Groaning and shivering, she couldn't help but pay attention to what a cold night it was tonight.

Her husband, Mr. Incredible, had earlier warned her it was a bad idea to go on patrol with such an nasty cold. After all, even supers needed sick days every now and then, right?

But, of course, being as stubborn and dutiful as she was, insisted that the town needed all of the protection it could get.

Suddenly, the bank alarm rang. Two men dressed entirely in black ran out, holding two large sacks of cash each.

 _Looks like that's my cue..._ Elastigirl thought. She had stretched down from the side of the building, ready to pursue the perps, when another sneeze interrupted her. Sniffling, she could have sworn that her breasts had gotten bigger from the sneeze. But that wasn't important now, she needed to catch those burglars!

At first, she hadn't seen the black car speed off as it made its hasty exit, just its tires squealing against the pavement. She was beginning to regret not bringing her new Elasticycle with, but every time she got on that thing it only reminded her of the one Evelyn Deavor made her...someone she didn't care to think about for a while.

Extending her legs so she stood above the buildings again, she began to worry: she couldn't see which way they had gone!

"Choo!" A bit alarmed, when her chest shrank to normal size, she looked behind her. Great, now what stretched in her _breasts_ went to her _ass_. Still, she didn't have time to sit still and figure out how to make it stop. Awkward as it was, it was manageable, and shouldn't have stopped her from catching those dirty thieves...wherever they were.

Wow! She had just realized how much her sinuses really hurt. Rapping her cheekbone in attempt to loosen some mucus, something at the back of her nostril was stuck.

 _Oh no, not again!_ she thought as she felt another sneeze coming on. "Ahh...ahh...CHOO!" Now the stretching in her butt had gotten so big, her cushiony tush propelled her through the air at its sudden inflation. Elastigirl had originally planned to become a parachute to give herself an easier landing, but instead, another sneeze forced her boobs to grow as big as her butt, cushioning her fall. _Damn...I haven't had tits this big even when I nursed Jack-Jack_ , she mused. Rolling back onto her feet, Elastigirl struggled to balance as she stood.

The car was barreling down the back road she had ended up on, and she didn't have time to shield herself. Worse yet, she felt another sneeze coming on!

"HELEN!" a man's voice yelled out.

"AAAAAHHCHOO!"

 _**CRASH!** _

The redheaded super felt as if her whole body had blown up...but opening her eyes, she was relieved to find that wasn't the case: Instead, she was sandwiched between two buildings: her breasts pressed against one, and her ass against the other. The car the thieves were driving had crashed into her beyond ample curves, and it hurt. Not where the car crashed, but from the absolute embarrassment that this happened in _public!_ On the other side of her was Mr. Incredible. He had been waiting there to cut the thieves off of their escape route, but now he was trying to figure out how he felt about this situation...something of a mix of shock, relief, humor, and, if he were honest, pretty turned on.

"Honey? Are you okay?" Mr. Incredible asked her, trying to keep a straight smile.

"Uh...y...yeah...I think so." Stretching back to her normal size, she folded her arms across her chest.

"Come on," he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Let's get you home."

* * *

Now the two of them were in their bedroom, both of them dressed in their pajamas.

The sick superheroine knew she was weak, tired, and should have been resting next to her husband at this moment, but instead, all she wanted to do was pace back and forth, and ruminate about what had happened earlier that night. "I cannot believe that happened," she said, her eyes watering. "But it did." "I just hope no one saw that. Do you think anyone saw that?" She had taken a tissue into her hands and blew her nose, before tossing it into the overflowing wastebasket sitting by her side of the bed.

"There was no one else around, so no, I don't think they did. Besides, it was only me with you when you knocked those thieves out, and we left before the police arrived."

"Still can't believe it...so embarrassing..." she sighed, sitting on at the foot of the bed. "I can't help but feel like this is my fault..." she said, burying her head in her hands.

Bob was silent for a moment. Technically, it both was and wasn't: but having a wife with a fiery temper meant you had to choose your words carefully, especially when she was in a fragile state such as this.

Sitting beside her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders, his wife lay her head into his chest, accepting his physical comfort.

"You couldn't help it: it was your cold that made that wonderful body of yours go out of control, if you want anything to blame it on, blame that."

"Bob...?" she asked, her face growing more serious again.

"Yes, dear?"

"Can you promise me something?"

"Of course, anything."

"...Promise you won't tell anyone about this?" she asked, looking up into his eyes.

"This'll stay just between us." Helen smiled back at him.

"Thanks, honey." Bob had wrapped both of his arms around her and given their embrace a small squeeze, but unfortunately, that triggered Elastigirl's most recent sneeze: "AAAHCHOO!"

 _RIIIP!_ Looking down, she noticed her breasts and butt had ripped her pajamas and underwear. Her dark pink nipples and her round, pale, luscious booty were now exposed. Her face began to turn red. Sure, this was her husband of fifteen years, and the body he saw was nothing new, but it was still embarrassing, nevertheless. And that's what did it for her. It took a lot to make her cry, but that was it. That's what sent her over the edge.

Trying to lighten the mood, Bob pulled her close and rubbed her smooth butt. "Stupid cold," Bob chuckled, groping it. Soon, Helen joined in on the giggle party.

"I'm sorry, it's just...this is such a ridiculous and embarrassing situation."

"Don't worry about it. Let's just make sure you get plenty of rest, I'll pick up chicken soup in the morning, and..." he looked down at her boobs, "...you may want to stick to clothes you don't particularly care about for a while."

 **THE END.**


End file.
